SELF LOVE PROGRAM

Join my program.

The self love program is an online workshop held for a period of 14 days with scheduled weeks.

The program aims at making people get back to themselves in a more easy way and with planned topics. There are tasks that are given to help clients connect with who they really want to be.

Daily emails and sometimes with voice noted and pictorial information.

Email : slwiththero@gmail.com to get more information and Rate card for the program.

E-Book Launch WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF

I’ve been working on a self love book and it is finally here!

Through different platforms I have realised that there are people who still struggle with the journey of self-love because they have no one or no tool to help them throughout the way.

So I came up with this little manual or guide to help those are on that journey so that they don’t feel alone and they have something to keep them going and a book to read whenever they need a reminder that self-love is key in our lives.

When I wrote this book I had people that are actually struggling and those who are learning to love themselves again after they have gone through a rough life experiences in my mind.

With the way the world has turn out to be and the way behaviours of people have changed it has made some people uncomfortable to express themselves openly. I wrote this book to act as a friend that one can communicate with and I’m opening up to anyone who like to discuss the book with me or have a discussion and helping them start the journey of self-love.

In a short period of time I’ll be welcoming people that would like to have sessions with me on a weekly basis Monday to Friday to help them kick start the journey of loving themselves, assessing key areas where they need to actually put the focus so that they can win if this journey of loving themselves.

The platform of having consultations is to be able to learn the patterns and behaviours of people that are going through journeys that are tough to carry and they need help to be able to express themselves. Not in any way will I be taking a place of a psychologist or therapist but I’ll be taking a place of a friend who’s willing to listen and be a friend to anyone that will come my way.

This book is just the beginning of a wonderful journey that I want to have with other people out there and make sure that I reach a number of people that can also reach out to others and and be examples of people who have learnt to love themselves beyond their life experiences.

To purchase this book just click on the picture of the book cover and it will Direct you straight to Amazon where you can purchase the Ebook version and the paperback version is also under construction hopefully it will be available soon.

GETTING OUT OF ABUSIVE ENVIRONMENTS

Abuse is one of the things that I fear most in my life because it tortures a person mentally, physically and every fibre in their body.

Abuse is categorised in So Many Ways just like I’ve mentioned above but do you know we can overlook abuse even when we feel it, we can overlook abuse even when we see it to a point where the trauma caused on our brains is severe.

So many are times when I would advise people around me about abusive environments. Sometimes the abuse doesn’t have to be directed at you it can be around you.

Now the question is are you able to sense abuse when it is surrounded you?

Are you able to tell that you are in an abusive environment?

Those are some of the things that you have to know how to sense feel and see and now know how to walk out. Sometimes we get very used to abusive environments and we don’t even know how to get out so on this read I’m taking you through steps or things you can look at that can help you get out of an abusive environment.

The reason why I’m using abusive environment is because I don’t want to categorise abuse I’m not going to talk about physical abuse or emotional abuse or verbal abuse separately because all these can exist within the same environment directed to you or around you.

So on this article I’ll be showing you and helping you on how to get out of abusive environments.

Letting Go is one of the hardest things to do.

Even people with strong and Minds find it hard to let go of their habits now imagine an environment that you have been accustomed to.

Start looking for distractions when you think of walking out or letting go, start thinking of distractions before the abuse traumatizes you.

Because you feel everything that is happening around, you feel the abuse getting into you.

Sometimes there are things that we love that we neglect, start looking onto those while you are looking for a way of walking out.

When you start doing things that can distract you and you start enjoying them it gives you a light to know that there is a life for you outside abuse there is a life for you outside relationships, friendships, a workplace and a family that is abusive not only physically remember but emotionally and verbally.

If it is Reading or writing that you like doing start doing that a lot it will give you a bit of liberation and destruction from the hurt and the anger that you are dipped in . So plant things that you like in your mind teach your mind where to look at when they are abused once to make you fall apart.

This particular one I cannot stress enough, the places we go to influence our thoughts so much just like the programs we watch on TV influence us.

We should learn to go to places where we learn to be better people like the library church and support groups. Some will expect me to mention shopping, it is a therapy for some people but then it should not lend you into debt that will get you in trouble and credits that you can’t control so do things that mean so much more yet important to you.

Visit places that build you, visit places that teach you so much about yourself, visit places that remind you of your worth and how much of a good person a better person you can be.

Often times when we go through stressful situations like being in a abusive environment we go to the wrong places we go to bars clubs resort to alcohol but we forget that the feeling of forgetting the hurt is temporary. It will follow suit tomorrow which means you are not creating a solution you are just pushing the problem aside which will eventually come back.

So start visiting places which will not remind you of the abuse, which will help you grow, which will distract you and allow you to do things that you love and places that will remind you that you don’t need to be where you are abused.

Hurt and abuse can delay you so much that you realise you never give yourself time. So turn the lights to yourself. Start looking yourself in a different way or should I say the way you want the world to look at you.

Start focusing so much on yourself. Start giving yourself time, when you go back to some of my reads about self-love you realise it needs more attention than we think. When you start loving yourself you know you don’t deserve to be in places where there is so much anger and hurt. You will know you belong to places where there is so much laughter, love and acceptance

Pay attention to yourself, your needs, your wants and things that make you happy.

Love yourself better and in a big way.

This means starting a journey with yourself and stepping out of the abuse zone.

When is still realising that there is more to you avonhead there’s a method that is going to stop you from taking over the world. Are you start seeing yourself as this person has so much potential and a lot to achieve. That moment is when you pack your bag and leave the bitter, hurting environment behind.

Start healing, talk to someone who is willing to listen and match your energy. This healing process will mean you have to start building Trust with people around you, you start being cautious of everything that happens around you so that you don’t go back so that abuse you were used to. That environment that never allowed you to be yourself to where things were not screaming happy but rather hurt.

I hope you find yourself. I hope you give yourself a chance. Even when you’re not going to walk out. Fix things, try to create a conducive environment through your voice.

Xoxo

Thero Madziba

A Relationship With Yourself

We know of so many relationships that surround us and on this one I want to take you through a journey of loving yourself, cherishing yourself & enjoy being you and absolutely having fun with your personality.

The picture above is me having fun and enjoying the moment that I’m in. At this moment all I can think about is myself what I want and the happiness I want to reach. Let me take you through 10 things that I live by that help me Be Happy with who I am.

1. Exploring Yourself

Everyone has to know themselves better than anyone knows them. They have to know what they like, what they dislike, their favourite colours, their favourite food and their favourite kind of hanging out spots.The reason why exploring yourself comes first is because you are packaging yourself, you are able to tell people who you are through these things. Imagine meeting a stranger who asks you what you like the most about yourself, or they ask you what’s your favourite hanging out spot and it has to take you more than two minutes to think about it. Would you say you know yourself if you can answer those two simple question?If you need to write this thing down go ahead and write them down. The reason why you should write them down is it will help you every time there’s a change on the list you know what to scratch off and what to keep because we grow and we change.

2. Giving Yourself Credit

I will work hard don’t wait for anyone to tell you that you did a great job or say well done before you do it to yourself.Whenever we exceeded as the work that I had before me and went beyond what I was supposed to do on that particular day I give credit to myself. I have to before they have to do that because I don’t want to hear it from anyone else before I tell myself.But sometimes we worked so hard and we don’t even get credit or be appreciated weather is at home at work or wherever we are as long as we have done a great job we should give ourselves a pat on the back.

3. Listening To The Inner You

Sometimes there’s that voice inside you that reminds you of things that are not right when you do them or approach you whenever you are going forward learn to listen to it.There’s a high chance that the move was knows you as much as you know yourself. That little with the reminder of things that you have done before if you have failed or gone through. Have you ever wondered when you try to do something and there’s that little voice that says there we go again or it says are you really sure you want to do this listen to that little voice as long as it’s not suppressing your dreams.

4. Believe In Yourself

Do you know you have people waiting for you to crumble and fall.The best gift to give yourself is believe in yourself and pull yourself up whenever you’re down. Believing in the person you are and can become is not rocket science but you thinking about it and living it.

No one will be questioned for your failures and no one will be congratulated for your wins.

I invented that quote because it has helped me a lot.

5. Pampers Yourself

This needs less words and mote doing. Go out there. Get your nails done and your body massaged.Go and cleanse your skin. Get exfoliating and facials. You will tell me about it honey. This will change your life.

6. Pay Yourself

When you are self employed or employed just pay yourself.When you’re employed those saving means that you don’t want to have financial problems you’re actually giving yourself financial freedom.Whenever you have a bonus pay yourself. Use the money you pay yourself with do the above point spoil yourself. Have money that makes you feel good. You are your own boss at the same because you work tirelessly.

7. Be You Own Cheerleader

Do not, do not wait for anyone to be your cheerleader you will wait forever.Jump up and down, scream and make sure you celebrate big or small milestones. That’s a sign that you’re in touch with your emotions. I love celebrating my achievements even just completing work ahead of time.

8. Do Not Hold Grudges

Avoid this one the most please!

Imagine going through sad moments because you chose to hols hold grudges. It kills your esteem and ability to move on my friend. Stay away from hurting yourself because of things you can’t change.

9. Laugh More

Go ahead crack windows with your laughter.Make sure you laugh every chance you get. Make it a habit of grabbing avery happy moment.I promised myself this year I’m spending it laughing so much. I want to remember every month in a way that makes me happy. Full of happiness. I laugh so hard guys.Be happy, Be happy!

10.Love Hard

Honey love that man, love that woman.It is hard to love again when you have been hurt but whenever you get into a new relationship don’t bring the baggage with you. You’re meeting a totally new person and you come in as a new person too.Don’t hold back with fear. You might lose someone who was ready to love you whole heartedly because you don’t show affection and you’re holding back emotionally.Tell yourself that being loved and loving is also for you.That’s how you can have a healthy relationship with yourself.

Blissful and Nasty sides of Gap Relationships

On the previous read we talked about making gap relationships work. We still have a long way to go on this one.Because I’m also in a gap relationship I think it’s only right to share with you the goodies and the baddies.Remember relationships have no manual. We meet different people with different personalities and different expectations but we still strive to make the relationship work. In a relationship there are ups and downs and also the beautiful and the Ugly.My wish was to write the ideal first but because I don’t want to ruin your mood before you go and let me give you into the beautiful aspect of the least four aspects of age gap relationship.

BLISSFUL MOMENTS

When I just thought of the word blissful moments I also thought I could have written advantages but because this is a relationship not a case study I decided to give it that hip name.Being a young lady and dating an older man sometimes brings others old versions of chivalry. The man is still stuck to the days where they used to do things for women and women had to be chased women. I know you know what I’m talking about will be opening doors for you and giving you little meaningful gifts and reminding you how much they love you each chance they get. And the older man or whichever partner is older  gets to experience the bubbly personality of a younger partner you get to relive the Moments that you lived when you were their age and it brings so much joy of knowing you can be your young self again.

Conversations

When there is a big age gap in a relationship conversations are interesting. The younger generation gets to experience more meaningful and goal-oriented conversation.When the two are compatible there is more of a sit-down conversation the throwing tantrums. There is no of listening than talking even if there is more energy from the younger one there is always control from the older one. There is this sense of maturity in the relationship and the ability to fix problems easily. This does not mean that there cannot be arguments but they are healthy arguments than the ones that are risky.

KNOWLEDGE

Anyone in a gay relationship will tell you how much the older partner likes sharing knowledge. Most of the time they want to teach the younger ones about so many things whenever they can.You know what’s cool? The younger ones are always teaching the older ones or newer trends, new fashion and even technology. This makes the older partner want to give them more regards and credit for all the things they teach them to keep up with the times.

SUPPORT

There’s that level of support that is involved in an age gap relationship.In an age gap relationship you and your partner are not competing for Success that much or out there trying to make names for both of you. The other partner is already established and has experience on what it is like to be out there trying to make a name for yourself. They render much of their support to you and expect a little from you. Though they might also need support from you when they are trying new things you just know you have someone to lean on whenever things are hard there. They can give you the best advice you can ever think of.
Sometimes even financially when you want to start up your own business they’re always there trying to fund your business and they will also develop your idea. They will spend any penny they have for you to make it, they give you advice, help you on making business plan. When the world is harsh on you they give you support and advice you could have never even given yourself because they know how rough it is no matter the generational difference.

INDULGE & EXPLORE

When growing up there are places you both wanted to go to they could be different places but you still want to visit them.Then this is the time to go. The older partner has always wanted to go to, and the the younger partner also want to explore. There could be history attached to each one of you having the need to go there so get up and go. The older could have been more traveled and know the way around and the younger could know the fun part about traveling making it more fun.Make memories together make each other feel like you are young and old at the same time. Indulge and explore. Don’t wait for the other to tell you what to do initiate things today. Travel see the world start loving art, introduce each other to things they never knew were fun.It is ALWAYS fun in an age gap relationship.

NASTY MOMENTS

This is about to turn the tables but they don’t erase the blissful moments unless you need to walk out of the relationship. In Any relationships as much as the UPS are there they are also Downs and we cannot escape them the only thing we can do is deal with them. Now let’s look at the nasty moments of age gap relationships.Oh yes age gap relationships are something else let me take you through the journey all the ugly sides.

GOALS

You are from different spaces of time and your goals are totally going to be different. Sometimes the older partner is more established ahead and is looking forward to adding just a little bit of things on their life. And the younger partners are getting out there, they are ready to conquer, to live and to experience everything they can so that they can also have stories when they’re old.Obviously the goals will be different. The other partner has achieved so much in life and the other partner is looking to work their way through to the top and make a name for themselves. Then now there’s a clash of interests because they are pulling two different directions. But this doesn’t mean the relationship can work the only thing that will be needed will be support for the other.

BRINGING IN AGE

When getting into a age-gap relationship we expect age to be less of a topic but there are times when it comes in especially during the ugly times.When we get into age gap relationship we know age should not be an issue but sometimes it’s like in every argument. Somebody needs to state that they are young and the other states that they are old. This is one of the unnecessary things to mention in an age gap relationship ,there is no need to bring it in because it’s obvious we both know we have a huge age gap between us.Sometimes the age issue is just brought in to emphasize a point. The young partner wants to use age so that their point or whatever they want to do the message is sent across and the older wants to do the same thing when they want to emphasize a point they use age. E.g.
The older partner will come up with a suggestion and when the younger one doesn’t agree they will throw in words like “I am way older than you so I know how these things happen”And the younger partner will also want to put their point across and say “that was during your time, this time around things are different and I already know the tips and tricks on how to do it.”See! We can just sort things out and maybe try both option if they are not time consuming or expensive.

EXPECTATIONS

Thing were done differently back in the day.Oh because we know most age gap relationships and the man who’s older and the woman who’s younger. You could have been raised in different households and different chores done by different genders or should I say send the best roles in a household.On this day women know men can cook. They also know men can claim and birth the babies. Now imagine and older men being out for young lady to clean the house because they are taught on this day everything is 50/50 and then no more gender-based roles in a household.This can also refer to the old men and then they will expect the lady to clean, cook and bath the kids and do everything in the household when they are out there trying to provide the for the family. Guess what because women these days work they could also be out there fending for the family.Now with all those, there is need for the couple to sit down to sort out their lives and decide on how things are done.Remember from the beginning wrote that there is no manual for relationships. All there is, is the need to be in the love, respect each othet and be committed to each other. The best thing that you can do is to sit down and discuss everything, when all cards are put on the table it’s easy to deal with each other and tell the other how you want to be treated they will also tell you how they want to be treated.Looking forward to reading on how you made it work.

PAYING DEBTS

Hello and let’s get to talk about money.

If there anything in this world that can damage you is debts. I have had my fair share of falling into deep debts that was very difficult to get out of. This time around I want to discuss with you how to get out of debts and live a better and easy life.

I’m so excited to share the steps with you on how I got my life back.

quote calligraphy under cup of lemon teaI have fallen in love with financial literacy.

financial literacy is an essential in our everyday life. I had a month to train myself to be able to handle money and save and learning how to budget, how to prepare spending methods and learning how to use money on good investment is not easy.

Before we take this journey of learning how to get out of debt we should understand the value of money we have on our hands and the bank or the one we are planning to have. Money is not a topic that you just come up with.

On this day and era we have financial advisors we have brokers for our investments and we also have so much information on the internet libraries that can help us help ourselves individually without involving anyone or third party. No matter how much he want to look rich be financial free or have financial freedom you still need to understand financial literacy. The journey that I took to be debt-free was not an easy one I had to learn a few tips and tricks to get off the hook. So I have decided to share with you the same methods that I used to relieve myself from debt and live a debt-free life and easy life where I’m in control of my finances.

STEPS TO FINANCIAL FREEDOM

1. Most of the time before we deal with the problem we have to identify it. Identifying what causes your financial strain and what makes you spend money unnecessarily. The lack of money sometimes is not caused by How Little We got but on how much we spend. So identify what digs into your pocket that doesn’t return any cent.

2. After you identify your problem write it down. After writing the problem that you have try to list possible Solutions under that problem. If it’s budgeting you list them like budgeting, controlling buying food outside, buying groceries for the whole month that’s how you can come up with Solutions.

3. Now that you have identified the problem wrote down possible Solutions now try to figure out if you will be able to perform or work on the Solutions on your own. If it is a difficult for you to execute the action plan that will get to the solution go to the bank that you use for all your income streams. Sit down let them help you with a budget that will work for you for a long time and not strain your pocket so that you don’t borrow money from different people and different microlenders.

4. On this one if you are able to execute the plan on your own. Start cutting out things that make you spend money unnecessarily go back to the problems that you listed on number one and try to figure out a way of executing the Solutions that you wrote under the problem then you are starting your journey to financial freedom. Cut out credit cards that are unnecessary cut buying food out everyday which is expensive, cut out borrowing people that don’t return your money back. Those are a few things you have to cut out of your life.

shallow focus photo of woman in white and blue floral dress
Photo by Godisable Jacob on Pexels.com

5. Now that you’re working on the Solutions be the boss of your money no matter how much you are tempted to buy unnecessary stuff the first thing you have to think about is how will this benefit me? how will this bring money into the house? Will this give me Returns? These are the questions that you’re  supposed to ask yourself  before dropping your hard earned money down the drain. When you start thinking positively about money you start using money correctly. When you start spending on things that do not benefit you in any way about money money will not benefit you.

6. And now that you have worked on your budget you have worked on making money work for you. Pay the little debts that are eating from your pocket when you start taking control of your money remember to clear your debt when that credit card is no longer taking money from you pay the little debts that you made on the way. Now don’t force yourself to pay all your debts at once because it will strain you and you’ll go back to the same habit of borrowing money everywhere using money unnecessarily. So start paying those small debts that have been pestering you with the little change you’re left with from budgeting and using money wisely.

7. Now we are working our way towards financial freedom. We are on our way to that. We are winning at the thing of taking care of money, we are winning this thing of having control of our money. You are the boss of your money you are the leader the holder of money. I am happy that I was able to share this with you. I identify my problems I came up with Solutions I worked on my Solutions. A little bit so that debts weren’t taking money from me monthly unnecessarily. I took charge  so take charge too.

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It was a pleasure sharing that part of my life with you. I’m looking forward to testimonies on how you were able to beat that. I’m looking forward to your testimony on how you managed to get your life back financially. I’m looking forward to seeing you guys gain financial freedom and those are a few steps that I want you to offer you so that you don’t have to worry about money anymore. Remember money is an energy the way you treat money money will treat you. I’m looking forward to and next money talk. Work  hard and making sure we are all bosses of our money.

Picking myself up

The past year has been the most challenging financially and emotionally.

I went through a lot of negatives and lots of downfalls in 2019.

person holding pink suede long waller
Photo by Robert Bogdan on Pexels.com

I had nothing left on my account most of the times. Taking small loans was what always crossed my mind and I learnt to take it the hard way. I was living from cheque to cheque, month to month eating straight from my hand. I lost all hope on saving and having what’s mine. I even planned on selling a few items in my house.  It was really devastating and depressing. I struggled with making a budget.  I also do not know how I made it to 2020 with the heavy baggage I had on my shoulder. There are night where I cried mysemyself to sleep to avoid think about money. There was such a bad eneegybregarding my finances.

My emotions were also all over the place. I felt like I  was sinking and there was no one to rescue me. 2019 was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I even had thoughts of giving up and quitting on my dreams but the drive in me kept me going my fore fire kept blazing and burning. All hope was lost but I pushed through the year.

Now I have set up a plan of picking myself up and living.

Let me share what my plans are for keeping and growing the little positivity left in me.

1. Having goals:

Putting goals into place and acting upon them reduces the chance of procrastination and builds a strong will to perform. Goals are a bot of motivation no matter how much the pressure feels.

2. Seeking help when needed:

This is very important to consider because sometimes we can’t be jack of all trades. We can’t be in several places at the same time. No matter how much we want to be our own little heroes we have to allow people to help us.

3. Budgeting:

Budgeting is a challenge on it’s own. It takes lots of courage to do it and actually abide by it. Budgeting can become a necessary habit which can be beneficial in building a financial freedom environment.

4. Meditating:

Thinking of this made me a bit nervous because it’s not anything that I’m used to. Being in silent spaces is not my ideal kind of place but I’m not so good with silent space. This is  a good idea if you love silent  spaces.

5. Prayer

It is important to learn how to pray for the things that you want.

Prayer can change lives. It grows the mind especially when you put your mind and effort into it. Learn to have time to speak what you wang into existence.

 

 

Vision Boards

gray dream freestanding letters
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

adult art artist blur
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Its the beginning of a brand new year and we are all looking forward to starting new things and letting go some. The biggest invitation to life is a second chance which we are given every day without doubt.

Resolutions are made but let me introduce you to vision boards. They could be the biggest trend now since we all have things to achieve and looking forward to celebrating life. Vision boards are liking putting your dreams right in front of you and wanting to get them all worked on despite the hardships.

so make your vision boards into quadrants and break them down into categories. E.g.

Finance(creating wealth)

  • Savings
  • Sticking to budget
  • Limiting impulsive shopping

Health (Living a healthy life)

  • Stick to gym routine
  • Eat healthy
  • Avoid too much junk
  • Regularncheck ups

Career ( Elevation)

  • Creating useful connections
  • Training in needed fields
  • Fixing a CV

Personal (being content)

  • Finding happiness
  • Time for introspection
  • Do what I love
  • Keep out of drama

I hope you look forward to a fruitful year all around.