Relationships are hard no matter how much we want them to be easy. At the same time we can be in relationships with ease and more relaxation after we set goals and sometimes rules
Though they say love is blind, is it a good reason to neglect our own feelings.
Here are some of the things to look out for when getting into a relationship:
AGGRESSION: by this I mean when your new partner is unhappy about something and they decide to approach you with too much anger
This can make anyone uncomfortable and feel belittled. Though we make excuses foe such behaviour taking a deeper look into your feeling after the event is the most important part. That choking that you feel, the blame you put on yourself are toxic and will make you forget about your happiness.
You can’t always be happy but you have to most be most times.
AGREE TO EVERYTHING THEY DO/SAY:
You’re in a relationship for goodness sake not a military. Your opinions matter too.
Civil conversations should be normalised in relationships. Now imagine if your partner is the one that wants to run your relationship like a military. It tends to cause more arguments.
If I can tell you, agreeing to everything because you want peace is not getting peace. It will haunt you until you forget about it and guess what it might be used as reference on the next argument.
You can have a grown up discussion without any of you feeling like authority or leader of a gang. If this happens address it with your partner and if it persists RUN. You need your sanity.
SAD MOMENTS SURPASS HAPPY MOMENTS:
Why do you prefer this kind of relationship when there is tons of happiness out there.
Choose you, choose your sanity, choose your happiness and choose you heart. Though we like joking about guarding our hearts and souls we actually have to do it. Do not be desperate to be in a relationship to a point where you STAY even when there is not ray of sunshine in your relationship.
Do not stay I repeat do not stay. Leave because you end up in too deep. You become a doormat for a relationship that doesn’t work for you. Remember if you can’t talk and solve it remember you need yourself more than anyone needs you
ABUSE: I mean any form of abuse,
Physical, emotional and verbal abuse can’t be sugar coated no matter how much you try.
You cannot allow yourself to walk around with a broken spirit. You are not going to live around negative energy because you are in a relationship. You’re slowly burning yourself to ashes inside. And there will be a time where you’ll not be able to save yourself. So RUN and remember Gender Based Violence is both sides. Men can get abused too. To men, do not be afraid to talk about it you also need to heal.
WHEN THEY DIM YOUR LIGHT:
When your partner doesn’t allow you to be who you’re.
When we get into new relationships we shouldn’t forget who we are. We should still remain as bubbly as we were. We cannot change in a relationship but remain our true selves so that our new partners know who they are dealing with and love us for who we are.
Changing to suit our partners tends to make us forget our selves and get lost. When things go wrong we don’t even remember who we truly are.
Remember to stay true to yourself and don’t lose identity. Like I always put it, your sanity matters in a relationship.
If you feel like you’re changing to fit into someone’s life RUN.