SELF LOVE PROGRAM

Join my program.

The self love program is an online workshop held for a period of 14 days with scheduled weeks.

The program aims at making people get back to themselves in a more easy way and with planned topics. There are tasks that are given to help clients connect with who they really want to be.

Daily emails and sometimes with voice noted and pictorial information.

Email : slwiththero@gmail.com to get more information and Rate card for the program.

RED FLAGS THAT SHOULD GET YOU RUNNING

Relationships are hard no matter how much we want them to be easy. At the same time we can be in relationships with ease and more relaxation after we set goals and sometimes rules

Though they say love is blind, is it a good reason to neglect our own feelings.

Here are some of the things to look out for when getting into a relationship:

AGGRESSION: by this I mean when your new partner is unhappy about something and they decide to approach you with too much anger

This can make anyone uncomfortable and feel belittled. Though we make excuses foe such behaviour taking a deeper look into your feeling after the event is the most important part. That choking that you feel, the blame you put on yourself are toxic and will make you forget about your happiness.

You can’t always be happy but you have to most be most times.

AGREE TO EVERYTHING THEY DO/SAY:

You’re in a relationship for goodness sake not a military. Your opinions matter too.

Civil conversations should be normalised in relationships. Now imagine if your partner is the one that wants to run your relationship like a military. It tends to cause more arguments.

If I can tell you, agreeing to everything because you want peace is not getting peace. It will haunt you until you forget about it and guess what it might be used as reference on the next argument.

You can have a grown up discussion without any of you feeling like authority or leader of a gang. If this happens address it with your partner and if it persists RUN. You need your sanity.

SAD MOMENTS SURPASS HAPPY MOMENTS:

Why do you prefer this kind of relationship when there is tons of happiness out there.

Choose you, choose your sanity, choose your happiness and choose you heart. Though we like joking about guarding our hearts and souls we actually have to do it. Do not be desperate to be in a relationship to a point where you STAY even when there is not ray of sunshine in your relationship.

Do not stay I repeat do not stay. Leave because you end up in too deep. You become a doormat for a relationship that doesn’t work for you. Remember if you can’t talk and solve it remember you need yourself more than anyone needs you

ABUSE: I mean any form of abuse,

Physical, emotional and verbal abuse can’t be sugar coated no matter how much you try.

You cannot allow yourself to walk around with a broken spirit. You are not going to live around negative energy because you are in a relationship. You’re slowly burning yourself to ashes inside. And there will be a time where you’ll not be able to save yourself. So RUN and remember Gender Based Violence is both sides. Men can get abused too. To men, do not be afraid to talk about it you also need to heal.

WHEN THEY DIM YOUR LIGHT:

When your partner doesn’t allow you to be who you’re.

When we get into new relationships we shouldn’t forget who we are. We should still remain as bubbly as we were. We cannot change in a relationship but remain our true selves so that our new partners know who they are dealing with and love us for who we are.

Changing to suit our partners tends to make us forget our selves and get lost. When things go wrong we don’t even remember who we truly are.

Remember to stay true to yourself and don’t lose identity. Like I always put it, your sanity matters in a relationship.

If you feel like you’re changing to fit into someone’s life RUN.

Blissful and Nasty sides of Gap Relationships

On the previous read we talked about making gap relationships work. We still have a long way to go on this one.Because I’m also in a gap relationship I think it’s only right to share with you the goodies and the baddies.Remember relationships have no manual. We meet different people with different personalities and different expectations but we still strive to make the relationship work. In a relationship there are ups and downs and also the beautiful and the Ugly.My wish was to write the ideal first but because I don’t want to ruin your mood before you go and let me give you into the beautiful aspect of the least four aspects of age gap relationship.

BLISSFUL MOMENTS

When I just thought of the word blissful moments I also thought I could have written advantages but because this is a relationship not a case study I decided to give it that hip name.Being a young lady and dating an older man sometimes brings others old versions of chivalry. The man is still stuck to the days where they used to do things for women and women had to be chased women. I know you know what I’m talking about will be opening doors for you and giving you little meaningful gifts and reminding you how much they love you each chance they get. And the older man or whichever partner is olderĀ  gets to experience the bubbly personality of a younger partner you get to relive the Moments that you lived when you were their age and it brings so much joy of knowing you can be your young self again.

Conversations

When there is a big age gap in a relationship conversations are interesting. The younger generation gets to experience more meaningful and goal-oriented conversation.When the two are compatible there is more of a sit-down conversation the throwing tantrums. There is no of listening than talking even if there is more energy from the younger one there is always control from the older one. There is this sense of maturity in the relationship and the ability to fix problems easily. This does not mean that there cannot be arguments but they are healthy arguments than the ones that are risky.

KNOWLEDGE

Anyone in a gay relationship will tell you how much the older partner likes sharing knowledge. Most of the time they want to teach the younger ones about so many things whenever they can.You know what’s cool? The younger ones are always teaching the older ones or newer trends, new fashion and even technology. This makes the older partner want to give them more regards and credit for all the things they teach them to keep up with the times.

SUPPORT

There’s that level of support that is involved in an age gap relationship.In an age gap relationship you and your partner are not competing for Success that much or out there trying to make names for both of you. The other partner is already established and has experience on what it is like to be out there trying to make a name for yourself. They render much of their support to you and expect a little from you. Though they might also need support from you when they are trying new things you just know you have someone to lean on whenever things are hard there. They can give you the best advice you can ever think of.
Sometimes even financially when you want to start up your own business they’re always there trying to fund your business and they will also develop your idea. They will spend any penny they have for you to make it, they give you advice, help you on making business plan. When the world is harsh on you they give you support and advice you could have never even given yourself because they know how rough it is no matter the generational difference.

INDULGE & EXPLORE

When growing up there are places you both wanted to go to they could be different places but you still want to visit them.Then this is the time to go. The older partner has always wanted to go to, and the the younger partner also want to explore. There could be history attached to each one of you having the need to go there so get up and go. The older could have been more traveled and know the way around and the younger could know the fun part about traveling making it more fun.Make memories together make each other feel like you are young and old at the same time. Indulge and explore. Don’t wait for the other to tell you what to do initiate things today. Travel see the world start loving art, introduce each other to things they never knew were fun.It is ALWAYS fun in an age gap relationship.

NASTY MOMENTS

This is about to turn the tables but they don’t erase the blissful moments unless you need to walk out of the relationship. In Any relationships as much as the UPS are there they are also Downs and we cannot escape them the only thing we can do is deal with them. Now let’s look at the nasty moments of age gap relationships.Oh yes age gap relationships are something else let me take you through the journey all the ugly sides.

GOALS

You are from different spaces of time and your goals are totally going to be different. Sometimes the older partner is more established ahead and is looking forward to adding just a little bit of things on their life. And the younger partners are getting out there, they are ready to conquer, to live and to experience everything they can so that they can also have stories when they’re old.Obviously the goals will be different. The other partner has achieved so much in life and the other partner is looking to work their way through to the top and make a name for themselves. Then now there’s a clash of interests because they are pulling two different directions. But this doesn’t mean the relationship can work the only thing that will be needed will be support for the other.

BRINGING IN AGE

When getting into a age-gap relationship we expect age to be less of a topic but there are times when it comes in especially during the ugly times.When we get into age gap relationship we know age should not be an issue but sometimes it’s like in every argument. Somebody needs to state that they are young and the other states that they are old. This is one of the unnecessary things to mention in an age gap relationship ,there is no need to bring it in because it’s obvious we both know we have a huge age gap between us.Sometimes the age issue is just brought in to emphasize a point. The young partner wants to use age so that their point or whatever they want to do the message is sent across and the older wants to do the same thing when they want to emphasize a point they use age. E.g.
The older partner will come up with a suggestion and when the younger one doesn’t agree they will throw in words like “I am way older than you so I know how these things happen”And the younger partner will also want to put their point across and say “that was during your time, this time around things are different and I already know the tips and tricks on how to do it.”See! We can just sort things out and maybe try both option if they are not time consuming or expensive.

EXPECTATIONS

Thing were done differently back in the day.Oh because we know most age gap relationships and the man who’s older and the woman who’s younger. You could have been raised in different households and different chores done by different genders or should I say send the best roles in a household.On this day women know men can cook. They also know men can claim and birth the babies. Now imagine and older men being out for young lady to clean the house because they are taught on this day everything is 50/50 and then no more gender-based roles in a household.This can also refer to the old men and then they will expect the lady to clean, cook and bath the kids and do everything in the household when they are out there trying to provide the for the family. Guess what because women these days work they could also be out there fending for the family.Now with all those, there is need for the couple to sit down to sort out their lives and decide on how things are done.Remember from the beginning wrote that there is no manual for relationships. All there is, is the need to be in the love, respect each othet and be committed to each other. The best thing that you can do is to sit down and discuss everything, when all cards are put on the table it’s easy to deal with each other and tell the other how you want to be treated they will also tell you how they want to be treated.Looking forward to reading on how you made it work.

Making A Gap Relationship Work

I met Mike in 2013 and it was a very awkward way to meet.

I realised he was way older than me and it made me a bit nervous about the whole thing especially when it came to introducing him to the family. But we made it work until now. This article will give you a clue on how to do it too if you’re in a gap relationship.

I’m going to highlight ways you can make such relationships work with less effort and more love.

COMMUNICATION

This is key in every relationship but when it comes to gap relationships it is vital. Remember you could be from different generations. This means understanding each is will have it out wrong turns but eventually things have to be sorted, decisions have to be made and choices picked.

For all this to be achieved communication has to come as an essential. Being able to put a message across without sound childish or uptight is one of the things to consider. Listen to what the other prefers and communicate what you prefer. Since one could seem left behind in experience and time the other might lack in trends and tech due to age difference but it’s nothing communication can’t fix.

ACCEPTANCE

You’re ought to accept that the other is way young and the other is way older. This will help in making decisions and living in a peaceful environment.

It also reduces the age issue being thrown in during arguments. Acceptance includes knowing the other likes a certain kind of music, clothes and even places to visit. Our generation wants a more alive spot and the older want chilled spots for entertainment. But because love and compromise are part of the package it becomes easy to navigate through both sides.

Acceptance also means that the other has to know that their partner can be slower or faster on some other thing.

It also refers to knowing that the other might be on the on the quiet side and the other might be more on the loud side. But this is not supposed to stop you from loving each other despite your differences starting with age.

LOVE

The reason for a gap relationship Should Be Loved. If there is any other motive the relationship will not go far.

Oftentimes relationships are confused for material things and money. Whenever the lady is the younger one in the man is the older one the artist relationship to riches money and other benefits. The best way to get rid of this disgusting though is to love purely from both side.

Get relationships and he really controversial and they need somebody with a strong personality to navigate to them. I love should come as the main motive of that relationship so that it can move on and be able to get rid of any doubt from both sides.

Most times it is believed that older men use beautiful young ladies to their benefit and wanting satisfy their need to also look younger. women date older men for money and material purposes. But if love is portrayed in a pure way it is easy to get rid of the perspective and easy to introduce each other to families and move on with a happy life.

HAVE FUN

Having fun means enjoying each other’s company. Is going out of your way to make each other happy.

Try by all means to find things that make each other happy like going to the movies, going to watch football, going to the park.

Every couple in young or older get relationship have a love language. Gap relationship couples should be able to explore each other’s love languages so that they know what sparkes the fire of their love.

Sometimes it comes in the form of just sitting around making fun of each other. It also involves cuddling saying sweet nothings to each other just to remind each other of how much you love them. Having fun comes in So Many Ways it can depend on what kind of people you are. There is no manual on having fun in a relationship. But all-in-all don’t forget that you have to make each other witty and smitten and laugh all the time. You have to make sure they have you in their mind when they think of having fun.

Looking forward to helping you to make a gap relationship work.