MOVING ON AFTER A BREAKUP

Relationships are the most beautiful part of growing up. Falling in love and being smitten with a stranger or someone you have known for some time.

But do you know all that can come to an end and it is the worst feeling to ever go through. On this post we are going to look at ways we can overcome the feeling and actually get back on our feet after a heart break or break up.

OPEN UP ABOUT IT: Do not bottle up your emotions when it comes to breakups. Holding on to the hurt can cause more harm in the future. It is important to confront your feeling during the time of hurting. Try to do this by journaling or talking to someone you trust or someone who will not judge you.

Journaling will have you write down your thoughts and express how you feel and it gives you an opportunity to actually start the process of facing the hurt and maybe feeling better. Opening up will mean you letting all the emotions surf through like letting yourself cry. Crying is not an indication that you are weak but showing that you can deal with your emotions.

FOCUSING ON YOURSELF:  This is the time to work on yourself. A little bit of introspection is needed during this time of dealing with a breakup. Sometimes we are the ones who push things to crumble by little negative habits that we might not want to let go. Take time to asses the relationships you have had and see if there is a pattern.

Focusing on yourself also means giving yourself some love. I have an article about self love and self care. SELF CARE ROUTINE . This article will give you ways of practicing self care and enjoy giving yourself a well deserved kind of attention.

LET GO : No matter how much it hurts eventually you will have to let go.  As you deal with your emotions and also taking care of yourself do not dwell too much on the just ended relationship unless you are trying to get back together.

Letting go means knowing you can be okay without your ex, knowing you can go out there and be yourself without thinking about them. Take time to totally get in reality that it was not your time to be with them. It will not be as easy as it is written here but try. Start thinking of life without them, begin doing things that you had to put aside for your relationship. Actually start adding more worth to yourself and start focusing on things that you want than those that you do not want.

HEAL: Healing is so underrated and we take it for granted without noticing. Healing and letting go are different things and we should treat them as such. You have let go so now how about some healing? This will come with forgiving yourself and your ex of anything that still hurts you about the relationship you had.

Healing is about the inner you and mentally feeling right after a breakup. This might take a short period of time or a long time depending on pour different abilities to deal with pain. You do not want to get into a new relationship with anger and so much hate in your heart or deep cut feeling in your soul.

Out of all things you might do after a breakup healing is the most important one. It sets the mood for the current flow of things and for the coming relationship because you have freed your spirit.

HEAL!!!!!

Sometimes freedom comes from freeing ourselves

DO THINGS THAT YOU LOVE: What is it that makes you happy but you have been pushing it to the side? This is the chance to immerse yourself on soulful things that make you extra happy on your own.

If you can create happiness on your own you will be able to attract the same aura. People around you will be pleased with the kind of vibe you bring after dealing with your emotions of course. Go out and have fun with your friends before you go MIA in love again, visit family and catch on what you might have missed while you were boo’d up.

Go and sit in a nice restaurant and enjoy a good meal and bev by yourself, It can be a coffee shop or burger joint that you love. This will also put you out there for potentials to see you ( but do not go into anything serious) unless you are over your ex and READY to move on.

 

 

 

SELF CARE ROUTINE

Yay!!! My favourite topic of all time. Anything that has to do with me giving myself some love is my fave.

I love creating moments of self care and self love inc operated together. There is so much happiness created within me every time I give myself some attention. Let me put you through how I make it work. You might pick some important leads to use on yourself.

DIY HAIR CARE : No matter how much I have tried to make use of the salon for hair care days I find myself wanting to spend time with myself through this activity so much that I never make plans to go to the salon. Hair care or wash days are days that I use to listen to my own thought and listen to my spirit. I find myself lost in the moment most times because that is when I have those UHUH MOMENTS!!! I get to remember things that I had neglected and little things that happened around me without noticing. I enjoy it so much, in my head a girls will actually be taking place.

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READING A BOOK:  Not all of us are fans of reading but if you are  take advantage of self care and read your favourite or any book you have been keeping aside and not finding time to read it. I fancy reading and I love romance novels. When I set out my week  read on chosen days looking at my schedule. On self care days  prefer to read as the sun sets and have my coffee at that particular hour. There is a certain vibe that comes through when the day comes to an end and you are able to relax with a cuppa.

JOURNALING : This is a morning activity where you put your thoughts down in writing. You can even write down the plans for the day on how you want the events to unfold. Let every thought come and write it down and let it sink in. Use this opportunity to write down gratitude notes and affirmation. Journaling is so relaxing it is like you talking to yourself in a fun way.

WATCHING A MOVIE & EATING MY FAVOURITE FOOD: After an hour of reading a few pages from a book and sipping on a hot beverage I get to prepare dinner. On this day it is not about what is on the menu but about what I want to eat.  choose a movie that look catchy to me and get ready to end my day in a high note and a day filled with freshness and rejuvenation. I can even decide to skip cooking and order food. I use that cooking time to take a power nap before I begin the home cinema program. I take that nap just after the cup of tea or coffee.

This is my little slice of heaven created by me for me. Go ahead and create this goodness for yourself and see how your whole world changes.

Need For Success

The need for success is in everyone. This is the reason we work so hard and try to balance everything at the same time.

Success has a different meaning to every single person whether we like it or not. What I consider success might be too low or high for the next person but it is something we are all chasing no matter the size.

You have ti determine your own gauge and work on it. The level of success you want to be on will be the measure of how much effort you invest. Success is not only about effort, it includes things like money, time and lots of research. Sometimes even letting of valuable things that use to mean a lot to a person.

First of all you have to know what success means to you as an individual and choose how best you can achieve it. I like to advice that you do not have to compare yourself with anyone and remain on your lane. We work towards in different ways which means we take different paces and lanes towards it. Mentor ship can work but do not become your mentor’s shadow trying to be successful. Even when you look up to someone do not lose your uniqueness in trying to be exactly like them.

The need for success should not be the reason you do not plan your route to achieve it. There is no rush to make because no matter how fast we move when the time is not right there will be no results. I am not saying do not work on the clock I am saying plan and work following the plan instead of rushed work and expecting great results.

It is not about how long it took but the results produced.

Choose your battle well, do not be over-ambitious or neglect the reality that comes with being successful. People overshoot their dreams and make it difficult for them to achieve their goals. The dreams becomes almost impossible due unrealistic planning.  Do you also have the need for success or are you taking it one day at a time? Are you willing to part with the luxury called time and get rolling on the road to success?

I have become too dependent on my talent and skill and I am taking this journey of success with every might, blood, sweat and tears. My need to be successful is really not about money even when money will bring the end results. I have no intentions of keeping a fat account and not use it to fulfill some of my desires of comfort. I am not going to hold back enjoying the fruits of my labour to keep the balance at a “million” because if I spend a 100 it will drop to 999 900. I am looking forward to creating sustainable success that will give me and my family comfort and know that I do not have to work my whole life chasing paper.

My success is not based on status and titles but on comfort. This means whenever there is peace as far as financials are concerned and my need to make more is not a must i will declare myself successful.

Share with me what success looks like to you.

XoXo

Thero M

 

SELF LOVE PROGRAM

Join my program.

The self love program is an online workshop held for a period of 14 days with scheduled weeks.

The program aims at making people get back to themselves in a more easy way and with planned topics. There are tasks that are given to help clients connect with who they really want to be.

Daily emails and sometimes with voice noted and pictorial information.

Email : slwiththero@gmail.com to get more information and Rate card for the program.

RED FLAGS THAT SHOULD GET YOU RUNNING

Relationships are hard no matter how much we want them to be easy. At the same time we can be in relationships with ease and more relaxation after we set goals and sometimes rules

Though they say love is blind, is it a good reason to neglect our own feelings.

Here are some of the things to look out for when getting into a relationship:

AGGRESSION: by this I mean when your new partner is unhappy about something and they decide to approach you with too much anger

This can make anyone uncomfortable and feel belittled. Though we make excuses foe such behaviour taking a deeper look into your feeling after the event is the most important part. That choking that you feel, the blame you put on yourself are toxic and will make you forget about your happiness.

You can’t always be happy but you have to most be most times.

AGREE TO EVERYTHING THEY DO/SAY:

You’re in a relationship for goodness sake not a military. Your opinions matter too.

Civil conversations should be normalised in relationships. Now imagine if your partner is the one that wants to run your relationship like a military. It tends to cause more arguments.

If I can tell you, agreeing to everything because you want peace is not getting peace. It will haunt you until you forget about it and guess what it might be used as reference on the next argument.

You can have a grown up discussion without any of you feeling like authority or leader of a gang. If this happens address it with your partner and if it persists RUN. You need your sanity.

SAD MOMENTS SURPASS HAPPY MOMENTS:

Why do you prefer this kind of relationship when there is tons of happiness out there.

Choose you, choose your sanity, choose your happiness and choose you heart. Though we like joking about guarding our hearts and souls we actually have to do it. Do not be desperate to be in a relationship to a point where you STAY even when there is not ray of sunshine in your relationship.

Do not stay I repeat do not stay. Leave because you end up in too deep. You become a doormat for a relationship that doesn’t work for you. Remember if you can’t talk and solve it remember you need yourself more than anyone needs you

ABUSE: I mean any form of abuse,

Physical, emotional and verbal abuse can’t be sugar coated no matter how much you try.

You cannot allow yourself to walk around with a broken spirit. You are not going to live around negative energy because you are in a relationship. You’re slowly burning yourself to ashes inside. And there will be a time where you’ll not be able to save yourself. So RUN and remember Gender Based Violence is both sides. Men can get abused too. To men, do not be afraid to talk about it you also need to heal.

WHEN THEY DIM YOUR LIGHT:

When your partner doesn’t allow you to be who you’re.

When we get into new relationships we shouldn’t forget who we are. We should still remain as bubbly as we were. We cannot change in a relationship but remain our true selves so that our new partners know who they are dealing with and love us for who we are.

Changing to suit our partners tends to make us forget our selves and get lost. When things go wrong we don’t even remember who we truly are.

Remember to stay true to yourself and don’t lose identity. Like I always put it, your sanity matters in a relationship.

If you feel like you’re changing to fit into someone’s life RUN.

E-Book Launch WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF

I’ve been working on a self love book and it is finally here!

Through different platforms I have realised that there are people who still struggle with the journey of self-love because they have no one or no tool to help them throughout the way.

So I came up with this little manual or guide to help those are on that journey so that they don’t feel alone and they have something to keep them going and a book to read whenever they need a reminder that self-love is key in our lives.

When I wrote this book I had people that are actually struggling and those who are learning to love themselves again after they have gone through a rough life experiences in my mind.

With the way the world has turn out to be and the way behaviours of people have changed it has made some people uncomfortable to express themselves openly. I wrote this book to act as a friend that one can communicate with and I’m opening up to anyone who like to discuss the book with me or have a discussion and helping them start the journey of self-love.

In a short period of time I’ll be welcoming people that would like to have sessions with me on a weekly basis Monday to Friday to help them kick start the journey of loving themselves, assessing key areas where they need to actually put the focus so that they can win if this journey of loving themselves.

The platform of having consultations is to be able to learn the patterns and behaviours of people that are going through journeys that are tough to carry and they need help to be able to express themselves. Not in any way will I be taking a place of a psychologist or therapist but I’ll be taking a place of a friend who’s willing to listen and be a friend to anyone that will come my way.

This book is just the beginning of a wonderful journey that I want to have with other people out there and make sure that I reach a number of people that can also reach out to others and and be examples of people who have learnt to love themselves beyond their life experiences.

To purchase this book just click on the picture of the book cover and it will Direct you straight to Amazon where you can purchase the Ebook version and the paperback version is also under construction hopefully it will be available soon.